Recently, my circle of friends are all at the 'marriageable age'.. wedding bells are set ringing pretty constantly. Those that are still single are being nagged on to tie the knot and such.
Marriage is defined as a personal union between 2 people. This union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is called a wedding. It is an instituition where interpersonal relationships are sanctioned with governmental and social recognition - thereby, creating a contract between these 2 persons.
People marry for many different reasons but it is sad to say that it is a social stigma that not being in one at or passed the 'marriageable age' is simply not right. The weak ones who are presurrised will get one partner in a hurry - some men got so stressed, they go the easy way out - buy a bride. Who cares about not understanding a single word each spout? Who cares about compatibility? Who cares about love? This is where the dilemma comes in. It was supposed to be love that spawned the decision of the reunion of the 2 beings... isnt it?
As a little child, I got to witness many failed marriages in the family. It had brought on immerse pains to both parties, sometimes sufferings and worse of it all, the bad effects overspilled into their offsprings. It was hard to understand as a child - those shows about weddings - laughters, excitement, and most important of it all - at the end of it all - it SHOULD spell happiness. But why are the marriages I had witnessed spelt misery and tears and heartaches???
Into my teens, I started to fantasize about what fairytales always play out - The Prince and Princess living happily ever after, drowning in their sea of love.
I was eager to find the love of my life, to love him and be loved in return, to have our own children and bring them love and care, to get old together and stroll the busy parks on weekday afternoons.
I was determined to prove that I will not live what I had witnessed. I was constantly pressing myself to believe that there will be happiness for me, there definitely will be.. and a marriage will be an escape route to my eternal happiness..
I got married at a reasonably young age. And I have learnt many lessons. Marriage is more than just a piece of paper that governs your reunion, it is more than just legitimizing sexual relations.
Marriage is a lot more.
It is about learning to live with an individual who was not part of your life before you know him at all. It is a bet - a heavy stake - which is your life - to a person whom you believed will bring you bliss.
Marriage is not about laughters. Those blissful reunions that fairytales carry are amongst the super minority of the countless marriages that happened each day.
I had learnt that beneath each smile lies a hundred cries. Beneath each tender conversation lies a thousand disagreements. It is all about making big efforts in order to give birth to a happy moment.
Sometimes, I do doubt myself and wonder - Is it really worth it?
